Heaven is a place where batteries are included.
Slot A always matches tab B.
All the boltholes are completely threaded.
Heaven is a place where gas stations don't sell gifts, so you're never tempted to give less than your best.
Anyone else in the spirit tonight?
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Man, I never thought about Christmas in Heaven. That's going to be a lot of pressure, all these people buying presents for Jesus. It doesn't matter what Billy Graham or Martin Luther buys Him, it'll always be better.
I could get Jesus a gold-plated copy of the Small Catechism. Luther gives him a copy of Guideposts and his is cooler, because, "Hey Look! It's actually signed by Martin Luther!"
Bummer. Bah Humbug!
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